if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
