it hurts more in the daytime
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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