i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
A+ Viking dick
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
