Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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