Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
