omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
