are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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