So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
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I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
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somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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