Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
