i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
