remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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