I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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