I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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