I wannas sexs uuuuu
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
