I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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