My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
