She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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