I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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