Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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