So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
