They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize