I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize