last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
