we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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