Where did you get a picture of my penis
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
