Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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