Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
