I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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