I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
