What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
