Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize