fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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