As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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