He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
