i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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