just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
