I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
