just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Houston, we have a squirter
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I party with great urgency now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
