everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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