a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
