if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
