I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
