Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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