I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
