so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think your dad took our porno
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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