East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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