this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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