The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
