Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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