Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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