It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
