so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
