i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
