I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
