I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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