Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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