What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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