I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
