420 ftw
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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