I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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